book quotes

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like "maybe we should be just friends" or "how very perceptive" turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love. I hate love.
Rose Walker (Sandman: The Kindly Ones - Neil Gaiman)

The fact remains that he can move faster than Severus Snape confronted by shampoo when he wants to.
Fred Weasley (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

Do not pity the dead, Harry, pity the living. Above all pity those who live without love.
Albus Dumbledore (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

It would take a lot to faze a copper from the Met. It would take, for example, a huge, battered car that was nothing more nor less than a fireball, a blazing, roaring, twisted metal lemon from Hell, driven by a grinning lunatic in sunglasses, sitting amid the flames, trailing thick black smoke, coming straight at them through the lashing rain and the wind at eighty miles per hour. That would do it every time.
(Good Omens - Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman)

It was then that Marvin got religion. Not the quiet, personal kind, that involves doing good deeds and living a better life; not even the kind that involves putting on a suit and ringing people's doorbells; but the kind that involves having your own TV network and getting people to send you money.
(Good Omens - Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman)

The world is a lot more complicated than most people believe. Many people believed, for example, that Marvin was not a true Believer because he made so much money out of it. They were wrong. He believed with all his heart. He believed utterly, and spent a lot of the money that flooded in on what he really thought was the Lord's work.
(Good Omens - Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman)

There were people who called themselves Satanists who made Crowley squirm. It wasn't just the things they did, it was the way they blamed it all on Hell. They'd come up with some stomach-churning idea that no demon could have thought of in a thousand years, some dark and mindless unpleasantness that only a fully-functioning human brain could conceive, then shout "The Devil Made Me Do It" and get the sympathy of the court when the whole point was that the Devil hardly ever made anyone do anything. He didn't have to. That was what some humans found hard to understand. Hell wasn't a major reservoir of evil, any more than Heaven, in Crowley's opinion, was a fountain of goodness; they were just sides in the great cosmic chess game. Where you found the real McCoy, the real grace and the real heart-stopping evil, was right inside the human mind.
(Good Omens - Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman)

Just when you'd think they were more malignant than ever Hell could be, they could occasionally show more grace than Heaven ever dreamed of. Often the same individual was involved. It was this freewill thing, of course. It was a bugger.
(Good Omens - Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman)

It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people.
(Good Omens - Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman)

It is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing that what you're attempting can't be done.
(Equal Rites - Terry Pratchett)

Twoflower: We don't have gods where I come from.
Lady: You do, you know. Everyone has gods. You just don't think they're gods.
(The Colour of Magic - Terry Pratchett)

"We've strayed into a zone with a high magical index," he said. "Don't ask me how. Once upon a time a really powerful magic field must have been generated here, and we're feeling the after-effects." "Precisely," said a passing bush.
(The Colour of Magic - Terry Pratchett)

Aravis also had many quarrels (and, I'm afraid, even fights) with Cor, but they always made it up again: so that years later, when they were grown up, they were so used to quarrelling and making it up again that they got married so as to go on doing it more conveniently.
(The Horse and His Boy - C.S. Lewis)

All you've been saying is quite right, I shouldn't wonder. I'm a chap who always liked to know the worst and then put the best face I can on it. So I won't deny any of what you said. But there's one thing more to be said, even so. Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things - trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that's a funny thing, when you come to think of it. We're just babies making up a game, if you're right. But four babies playing a game can make a playworld which licks your real world hollow. That's why I'm going to stand by the play-world. I'm on Aslan's side even if there isn't any Aslan to lead it. I'm going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn't any Narnia. So, thanking you kindly for our supper, if these two gentlemen and the young lady are ready, we're leaving your court at once and setting out in the dark to spend our lives looking for Overland. Not that our lives will be very long, I should think; but that's a small loss if the world's as dull a place as you say.
Puddleglum (The Silver Chair - C.S. Lewis)

Aslan: Welcome, Prince. Do you feel yourself sufficient to take up the Kingship of Narnia?
Caspian: I--I don't think I do, sir. I'm only a kid.
Aslan: Good. If you had felt yourself sufficient, it would have been a proof that you were not.
(Prince Caspian - C.S. Lewis)

But sorry is the Kool-Aid of human emotions. It's what you say when you spill a cup of coffee or throw a gutterball when you're bowling with the girls in the league. True sorrow is as rare as true love.
(Carrie - Stephen King)

Men don't think any differently from women. They just make more noise about being able to.
Alanna (The Woman Who Rides Like A Man - Tamora Pierce)

Numair: Will you marry me?
Daine: Maybe someday...but only if you're very, very good.
Numair: What if I'm very, very bad?
Daine: Still maybe someday.
(The Realms of the Gods - Tamora Pierce)

There are always some who dislike you. But that's life.
Alanna (Wild Magic - Tamora Pierce)

There are sandstorms that stop man and horse and bury them, I've seen them. I saw bones piled higher than my head for the folly of a bad king and those who wanted his throne. I lived through a blizzard that froze every other creature solid. Against those things, you're just a man. I can deal with you.
Alanna (Lioness Rampant - Tamora Pierce)

Myles: Do you love Jon?
Alanna: Love's wonderful, but it's not enough to keep us together for years of marriage. I'm not sure if I'm ready; I'm not sure if Jon's ready. I have to be sure if I want to marry King Roald's heir. Yes, I love him. That's the whole problem.
Alanna (The Woman Who Rides Like A Man - Tamora Pierce)

You ARE brave, kicking a chained prisoner. They must sing heroic ballads about you on winter nights.
Alanna (In the Hand of the Goddess - Tamora Pierce)

When people say a knight's job is all glory, I laugh and laugh and laugh. Often, I can stop laughing before they edge away and start talking about soothing drinks.
Raoul (Squire - Tamora Pierce)

Neal: What possessed you? Why in the name of all the gods in all of the Eastern and Southern lands would you start a fight with them?
Kel: I didn't like the shape of Joren's nose.
(First Test - Tamora Pierce)

To the organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.
Albus Dumbledore (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone - J.K. Rowling)

I'm going to be just as nasty as you are--but I'm going to do it with more style.
Vanyel Ashkevron (Magic's Pawn - Mercedes Lackey)

The human soul's a dark place--who knows that better than I?
Gerald Tarrant (Black Sun Rising - C.S. Friedman)

Let's just say that if complete and utter chaos was lightning, he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting "All gods are bastards."
Rincewind (The Colour of Magic - Terry Pratchett)

In the beginning the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
(Restaurant at the End of the Universe - Douglas Adams)

It was all very well going on about pure logic and how the universe was ruled by logic and the harmony of numbers, but the plain fact of the matter was that the Disc was manifestly traversing space on the back of a giant turtle and the gods had a habit of going round to atheists' houses and smashing their windows.
(Unknown - Terry Pratchett)

It became apparent that one reason why the Ice Giants were known as the Ice Giants was because they were, well, giants. The other was that they were made of ice.
(Sourcery - Terry Pratchett)

"'E's fighting in there!" he stuttered, grabbing the captain's arm. "All by himself?" said the captain. "No, with everyone!" shouted Nobby, hopping from one foot to the other.
(Guards! Guards! - Terry Pratchett)

Thunder rolled. ... It rolled a six.
(Guards! Guards! - Terry Pratchett)

"There's a door." "Where does it go?" "It stays where it is, I think."
(Eric - Terry Pratchett)

"You mean mysterious ancient races of Amazonian princesses who subject all male prisoners to strange and exhausting progenitative rites?" said Eric, his glasses beginning to fog.
(Eric - Terry Pratchett)

Well, 'scuse me. I was jus' tryin' to save the world.
Gaspode the Wonder Dog (Moving Pictures - Terry Pratchett)

"Did I hear things, or can that little dog speak?" said Dibbler. "He says he can't," said Victor. Dibbler hesitated. "Well," he said, "I suppose he should know."
(Moving Pictures - Terry Pratchett)

And it came to pass that in time the Great God Om spake unto Brutha, the Chosen One: "Psst!"
(Small Gods - Terry Pratchett)

Not a man to mince words. People, yes. But not words.
(Small Gods - Terry Pratchett)

Om began to feel the acute depression that steals over every realist in the presence of an optimist.
(Small Gods - Terry Pratchett)

"I like the idea of democracy. You have to have someone everyone distrusts," said Brutha. "That way, everyone's happy."
(Small Gods - Terry Pratchett)

Of course, just because we've heard a spine-chilling, blood-curdling scream of the sort to make your very marrow freeze in your bones doesn't automatically mean there's anything wrong.
(Soul Music - Terry Pratchett)

The question seldom addressed is where Medusa had snakes. Underarm hair is an even more embarrassing problem when it keeps biting the top of the deodorant bottle.
(Soul Music - Terry Pratchett)

"Luck is my middle name," said Rincewind, indistinctly. "Mind you, my first name is Bad."
(Interesting Times - Terry Pratchett)

People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people.
(Maskerade - Terry Pratchett)

"What sort of person," said Salzella patiently, "sits down and writes a maniacal laugh? And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head. Opera can do that to a man."
(Maskerade - Terry Pratchett)

Just because someone's a member of an ethnic minority doesn't mean they're not a nasty small-minded little jerk.
(Feet of Clay - Terry Pratchett)

Real children don't go hoppity-skip unless they are on drugs.
Susan (Hogfather - Terry Pratchett)

We took pity on him because he'd lost both parents at an early age. I think that, on reflection, we should have wondered a bit more about that.
Lord Downey (Hogfather - Terry Pratchett)

Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.
(Jingo - Terry Pratchett)

PEOPLE'S WHOLE LIVES DO PASS IN FRONT OF THEIR EYES BEFORE THEY DIE. THE PROCESS IS CALLED 'LIVING'.
Death (The Last Continent - Terry Pratchett)

They say the heat and the flies here can drive a man insane. But you don't have to believe that, and nor does that bright mauve elephant that just cycled past.
(The Last Continent - Terry Pratchett)

It was funny how people were people everywhere you went, even if the people concerned weren't the people the people who made up the phrase "people are people everywhere" had traditionally thought of as people.
(The Fifth Elephant - Terry Pratchett)

In the second scroll of Wen the Eternally Surprised a story is written concerning one day when the apprentice Clodpool, in a rebellious mood, approached Wen and spake thusly: "Master, what is the difference between a humanistic, monastic system of belief in which wisdom is sought by means of an apparently nonsensical system of questions and answers, and a lot of mystic gibberish made up on the spur of the moment?" Wen considered this for some time, and at last said: "A fish!" And Clodpool went away, satisfied.
(Thief of Time - Terry Pratchett)

Kids! Bringing about Armageddon can be dangerous. Do not attempt it in your home.
(Good Omens - Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman)

Arthur: If I asked you where the hell we were, would I regret it?
Ford: We're safe.
Arthur: Oh good.
Ford: We're in a small galley cabin in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet.
Arthur: Ah, this is obviously some strange use of the word safe that I wasn't previously aware of.
(Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams)

Arthur: You know, it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space, that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young.
Ford: Why, what did she tell you?
Arthur: I don't know, I didn't listen.
(Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams)

It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.
(Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams)

"Alright," said Deep Thought. "The Answer to the Great Question..." "Yes ...!" "Of Life, the Universe, and Everything ..." said Deep Thought. "Yes ...!" "Is ..." said Deep Thought, and paused. "Yes ...!" "Is ..." "Yes ...!!!...?" "Forty-two," said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm.
(Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams)

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
(Restaurant at the End of the Universe - Douglas Adams)

In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men and women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.
(Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams)

Life. Loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it.
Marvin (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams)

Man [has] always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much--the wheel, New York, wars and so on--while all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man--for precisely the same reason.
(Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams)

This above all; to thine own self be true.
(Hamlet - William Shakespeare)

Welcome! Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
Albus Dumbledore (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone - J.K. Rowling)

There are all kinds of courage. It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.
Albus Dumbledore (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone - J.K. Rowling)

Humans do have a knack of choosing precisely those things that are worst for them.
Albus Dumbledore (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone - J.K. Rowling)

No good sittin' worryin' abou' it. What's comin' will come, an' we'll meet it when it does.
Rubeus Hagrid (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - J.K. Rowling)

Remember Cedric. Remember, if the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, remember what happened to a boy who was good, and kind, and brave, because he strayed across the path of Lord Voldemort. Remember Cedric Diggory.
Albus Dumbledore (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - J.K. Rowling)

"Is it true that you shouted at Professor Umbridge?" "Yes," said Harry "You called her a liar?" "Yes." "You told her He Who Must Not Be Named is back?" "Yes." Professor McGonagall sat down behind her desk, watching Harry closely. Then she said, "Have a biscuit, Potter."
(Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - J.K. Rowling)

None of the staff but Filch seemed to be stirring themselves to help her. Indeed, a week after Fred and George's departure Harry witnessed Professor McGonagall walking right past Peeves, who was determinedly loosening a crystal chandelier, and could have sworn he heard her tell the poltergeist "It unscrews the other way."
(Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - J.K. Rowling)

The Hashishim, who derived their name from the vast quantities of hashish they consumed, were unique among vicious killers in being both deadly and, at the same time, inclined to giggle, groove to interesting patterns of light and shade on their terrible knife blades and, in extreme cases, fall over.
(Sourcery - Terry Pratchett)

They suffered from the terrible delusion that something could be done. They seemed prepared to make the world the way they wanted or die in the attempt, and the trouble with dying in the attempt was that you died in the attempt.
(Sourcery - Terry Pratchett)

The days followed one another patiently. Right back at the beginning of the multiverse they had tried all passing at the same time, and it hadn't worked.
(Wyrd Sisters - Terry Pratchett)

It is a popular fact that nine-tenths of the brain is not used and, like most popular facts, it is wrong...It is used. And one of its functions is to make the miraculous seem ordinary and turn the unusual into the usual. Because if this was not the case, then human beings, faced with the daily wondrousness of everything, would go around wearing big stupid grins, similar to those worn by certain remote tribesmen who occasionally get raided by the authorities and have the contents of their plastic greenhouses very seriously inspected.
(Small Gods - Terry Pratchett)

Magrat says a broomstick is one of them sexual metaphor things.[*] [*] Although this is a phallusy.
(Lords and Ladies - Terry Pratchett)

Sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.
(Men at Arms - Terry Pratchett)

Imp hesitated, as people do when, after having used a language all their lives, they're told to "say something."
(Soul Music - Terry Pratchett)

With him here, even uncertainty is uncertain. And I'm not sure even about that.
Death (Interesting Times - Terry Pratchett)

Spit or swallow, he thought, the eternal conundrum.
(The Truth - Terry Pratchett)

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7